Why don’t I apply the same effort, attention, and care to my other relationships as I do with my daughter?
There are intimate moments you share with your child that are purely innocent. No expectations. No obligations. No hidden desires. Play for play’s sake. Affection for the sake of affection.
Between adults there is no innocence. Purity is lost, and we are left with a pile of expectations, obligations, and hidden desires.
This pile weighs on us as we navigate through an adult relationship. If I put forth this effort, will it be matched, appreciated, or even noticed? Will my attention be rewarded? Am I obligated? How do I lead this person (or worse, manipulate) to get what I want?
We tend to measure adult relationships by what we get out of them. With our children we are willing to go to the ends of the earth and never stop to ask what is my gain.
Can I give my spouse the effort, attention, and care I offer my daughter?